12 x 18 cold press watercolor paper
Detail of "Trust"
The final assignment for Willowing's Art, Heart & Healing is to create an "Invitation Angel" or figure intended to represent that which we may be lacking in our daily lives . . .
And this was very interesting for me. I started out week 4's lesson intending to soak up as much knowledge as I could while creating a pretty picture. What I didn't expect was how much the piece would really "speak" to me . . . . Let me explain: as many of you know, we are eager to adopt again and have been trying for years now to find another adoptive situation. To be honest, it has been a long, painful wait. We were connected with Kendra's Birth Mother (her "Tummy Mummy") relatively quickly just over 5 years ago and I guess we expected or hoped that it would come as easily the second time around. But that has not been the case. We waited a couple years after K was born because she was in and out of the hospital and needed our full attention. Then came the recession and an expensive adoption was not possible for us. So, I started finding other avenues to spread the word in hopes to find a Birth Mother on our own. . . Now we are ready financially and otherwise and, well . . . are still waiting. We just this month went through our county to adopt in that way (usually faster than a traditional adoption agency) and were devastated to learn that we would not even be able to begin that process until the middle of next year. So here we sit, ready and waiting . . .
Which brings me to the piece above. What I am in need of (and a word that I have clung to in the last year) is Trust. I know that this is all happening for a reason and I know that we will adopt again. But I have to Trust that it will happen in the right time, and not just the time that I think is right. . .
And as I worked on this little one in the last two days, I found myself really connected to her. She was given eyes the color of my husband's and tiny freckles which to me indicates youth. I choose to color her hair both blue and pink and give her the suggestion of a belly . . . and all of this was done with my knowledge but without really thinking about it. . . and when I looked at her this morning with fresh eyes, I noticed that the stripy hair on the left represented Kendra, my beautiful little tomboy. It will be really interesting to look back at this piece later in life and see if there are more hidden clues that will only become evident when our next baby is home. . .
I also want to take this opportunity to thank Willowing for all of her efforts in bringing this beautiful community together. It has been an amazing experience, one which I hope you will consider doing yourself, if you have not joined already. She will be leaving the course up indefinitely so that everyone can benefit from the healing exercises she has so generously offered.