I know that sounds dramatic. But it came from a girlfriend who recently texted the question, "Um, are you still alive?" To which I replied several days later, "I'll get back to you on that." Tongue and cheek though it was, the truth is, I've been feeling totally overwhelmed and-altogeher-not-myself lately. And I know the cause of my affliction: Ambition.
It's Ambition that made me feel I that could homeschool the cutie above and still be consistently creative (oh yeah, & a Mom & a Wife & a Homemaker). It's Ambition who gave me the courage to begin a creative business and say YES to every opportunity that came my way, and it is Ambition who told me that I could stay on top of a Daily Art Journaling project with ease. Well, Ambition, you were wrong. Oh at least I was wrong in thinking that I could do it all happily, easily and with a perma-grin.
Now, don't get me wrong. I think that to be ambitious is a good thing. I was raised to believe that if you worked hard enough, you could have everything in life that you desire. I'm totally passionate about creativity and I have a business plan that outlines a future of teaching across the country and beyond. I love to teach. I love to create. And I love to inspire other people to do the same. I think that's why The Summer of Color brings me so much joy. It's not the color, but the creativity and the community that inspires one another along the way. . . .
But I digress. So let me just say here that I have totally and completely failed on the Daily Art Journaling thing. I'm sure it's my embarrassment of having just quit that led me to the longest blogging break I've ever had (not that it was a purposeful thing, mind you. I just had nothing to share). But the truth is, I just couldn't keep up with the pace. And because I take forever to do anything, my "quick little pages" were becoming "long, drawn-out projects" and adding stress to my life instead of it's intended purpose, which was to provide a refuge. SOoooo, I officially declare the end of my Daily Art Journaling project and the beginning of a more rational approach to my art.
Rational approach to art? I just mean that I'm going to create when and if I can. I'm going to remain Ambitous (because that's how I'm built), but in this season of my life where I have a little one at home, I'm going to be less of a "YES" (wo)Man and more of a "I would LOVE to - let me look at my schedule" (wo)Man. See where I'm going with this? In the end, I want to do more of what brings me joy and less of what doesn't. More art just for fun, more teaching because I love it with every fiber of my being and more excitement with The Summer of Color.
Speaking of loving it with every fiber of my being, wanna see the last class I recently taught? It was on Mixed Media Portraits and to be honest, a total blast. Here we go:
And for my next tick? Another Mixed Media Portraits class coming up next week:
Click Here if you wanna learn more
And last but not least, I just finished filming my first lesson for Life Book which airs at the end of this month. This project - more than any other right now - is making me giddy with excitement and filled with gratitude. Honestly, I'm like a little school girl waiting for my turn to present my project to the class.
And there you have it: The ups and downs of Ambition and what I've decided to do with it in the future. Oh, and what that also means? I'm done with my unintentional blogging break, and coming back to you with my hand in my heart and paint under my fingernails. Um, as soon as I get around to it. . . .
To Love, Art & Intentional Ambition,
Kristin xo
17 comments:
I checked my blog roll and saw you hadn't posted in months....I wondered what was up:) Although I knew you were fine and busy and hanging out with your precious girl!!
If I lived nearby I would take your class!!
xoxox
Creativity has so many aspects, so many lovely facets. I loved your post. This is real life. It's the pursuit of all that's good and all those blessings.
Your mention of The Summer of Color got me excited!
Sounds like a perfect plan. Seeing this picture brought a smile on my face. I recognize the vision statement on your wall to the right of the window.
I have SO missed you Kristin-but yet, I knew it was because you were extraordinarily busy with not only the everyday life but also with your expanding creative endeavors. And I couldn't be happier for you! I really loved my years of teaching too so I know where you're coming from. But you come to the realization that you do have to choose how to spend the precious art time you may have and - you.can't.do.everything. Looks like you've made the right choices by the looks (and art) of the ladies in your class:)
its so good to see you!! Keep doing what you're doing, it sounds and looks amazing,,, paint under the nails is always a good thing,, always,
Sounds like you have been busy, but perhaps a break might be good! Valerie
welcome back, you have been busy!
I have been at the art malarkey for decades now and have come to accept that sometimes life gets in the way - and you know what? It doesn't matter at all! Because once you become an artist, you are constantly seeing and thinking like an artist and when you do get the chance to pick up the tools again, never fear! It will be even better than it was before!
You can get Overworked by doing things that you love too, but good you are starting not to say YES to everything. Keep healthy and enjoy yourself. Enjoyed the post!
Great to see you back and wanting to create again, looking forward to your posts as i have missed your smiley writings :-) xxx
I miss your lovely posts in my reader, but am so happy that you are out there actually living life to the full and teaching (go you!). xoxox
I know how busy life can be - it's been a month since I've posted, too! I always love seeing your wonderful works of art! I so wish I lived closer so that I could attend one of your classes! You are really amazing!!! Hope all is well with you! HUGS!!!!!
Goodness me, sounds like you are doing more than enough. A finished artwork every day is too much stress, I agree. Good to see you back again.
That all sounds very wise! As someone who has had to humbly admit to myself that I have real limits and setting them too stringently takes the fun out, I can totally relate!
Ambition is great but there are only 24 hours in the day and creativity doesn't always slot into the parcel of time that is available. I think you are a Superwoman whatever you do!
It's great to have you back.
xxx
So happy to hear all is well in your world. It is also heartening to those of us with less confidence that 'people like you', by which I mean, those who give inspiration to me, also have times of doubt and can struggle to keep a zillion balls in the air at once and are ok admitting it. So thank you for sharing that; and I look forward to your posts, whenever you can. ((Hugs)) xo
That sounds so familiar! I too just had an unplanned break for over two months. Glad to see you inspired again and looking forward to the Summer of Color!
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