I know that sounds dramatic. But it came from a girlfriend who recently texted the question, "Um, are you still alive?" To which I replied several days later, "I'll get back to you on that." Tongue and cheek though it was, the truth is, I've been feeling totally overwhelmed and-altogeher-not-myself lately. And I know the cause of my affliction: Ambition.
It's Ambition that made me feel I that could homeschool the cutie above and still be consistently creative (oh yeah, & a Mom & a Wife & a Homemaker). It's Ambition who gave me the courage to begin a creative business and say YES to every opportunity that came my way, and it is Ambition who told me that I could stay on top of a Daily Art Journaling project with ease. Well, Ambition, you were wrong. Oh at least I was wrong in thinking that I could do it all happily, easily and with a perma-grin.
Now, don't get me wrong. I think that to be ambitious is a good thing. I was raised to believe that if you worked hard enough, you could have everything in life that you desire. I'm totally passionate about creativity and I have a business plan that outlines a future of teaching across the country and beyond. I love to teach. I love to create. And I love to inspire other people to do the same. I think that's why The Summer of Color brings me so much joy. It's not the color, but the creativity and the community that inspires one another along the way. . . .
But I digress. So let me just say here that I have totally and completely failed on the Daily Art Journaling thing. I'm sure it's my embarrassment of having just quit that led me to the longest blogging break I've ever had (not that it was a purposeful thing, mind you. I just had nothing to share). But the truth is, I just couldn't keep up with the pace. And because I take forever to do anything, my "quick little pages" were becoming "long, drawn-out projects" and adding stress to my life instead of it's intended purpose, which was to provide a refuge. SOoooo, I officially declare the end of my Daily Art Journaling project and the beginning of a more rational approach to my art.
Rational approach to art? I just mean that I'm going to create when and if I can. I'm going to remain Ambitous (because that's how I'm built), but in this season of my life where I have a little one at home, I'm going to be less of a "YES" (wo)Man and more of a "I would LOVE to - let me look at my schedule" (wo)Man. See where I'm going with this? In the end, I want to do more of what brings me joy and less of what doesn't. More art just for fun, more teaching because I love it with every fiber of my being and more excitement with The Summer of Color.
Speaking of loving it with every fiber of my being, wanna see the last class I recently taught? It was on Mixed Media Portraits and to be honest, a total blast. Here we go:
And for my next tick? Another Mixed Media Portraits class coming up next week:
Click Here if you wanna learn more
And last but not least, I just finished filming my first lesson for Life Book which airs at the end of this month. This project - more than any other right now - is making me giddy with excitement and filled with gratitude. Honestly, I'm like a little school girl waiting for my turn to present my project to the class.
And there you have it: The ups and downs of Ambition and what I've decided to do with it in the future. Oh, and what that also means? I'm done with my unintentional blogging break, and coming back to you with my hand in my heart and paint under my fingernails. Um, as soon as I get around to it. . . .
To Love, Art & Intentional Ambition,